


Oh, Baby, Can't Do This To Me, Baby

by lizibabes



Series: Dark Bingo [15]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: AU, Hospitals, M/M, Swearing, serious accident, sex.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-10
Updated: 2012-05-10
Packaged: 2017-11-05 03:23:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/401908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizibabes/pseuds/lizibabes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fill for the prompt Song: Bohemian Rhapsody for Glam bingo, Grief for Dark bingo and for deep throat Kinkbingo. Has he lost him? He doesn't know, he grieves as if he has.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh, Baby, Can't Do This To Me, Baby

**Author's Note:**

> Beta: I_glitterz  
> Add me on twitter @BizLiz91. Title from lyrics from the Queen song Bohemian rhapsody, which I do not own, all I own is the plot. Not a death fic.

Tommy Joe leaves his house on a Sunday night, almost late because they'd forgotten all about his curfew when they had been making out and fooling around. Adam had been practicing deep throating, a skill he loved working on and Tommy hadn't complained about Adam wanting to get practice. He'd spent all night in his bedroom with Tommy. Neil and his parents had been out, visiting his aunt, so they'd had an empty house and they’d made the most of it. He's not sure how many times they came, but by the end of the night, his lips had been puffy from working on his deep throat technique. He kind of liked how they hurt a little, liked the way his jaw ached and the taste of Tommy in his mouth. It was like a reminder that he’d managed to deep throat Tommy. It’d been late when Tommy left, dark, and he'd kissed Adam goodbye and promised to see him at school in the morning. 

　

Then Monday morning arrives and Adam gets a phone call from Tommy's Mom because he's not come home, hadn't gotten back to his own house after leaving Adam's. He's frantic from that moment on, calling every person that Tommy knows while Tommy's Mom calls family and hospitals. No one has seen Tommy, his parents don't make him go to school that day or the next. Three days later they make him go back to school and Tommy still hasn't been found. The police have been involved from the second day and after he's been missing for two weeks, the cops tell them not to give up hope, but not to hold on to the idea of seeing Tommy again and they all know the police think he's dead. Tommy wouldn't run away; he loves his parents, his sister, his friends. And Adam's known him forever, dated him since middle school. He would know if Tommy wanted to leave.

　

If he hasn't run away, death seems like the only other option and it breaks Adam's heart. He tries to keep the faith that Tommy is alive and coming back to him, but he can feel the grief building. He grieves as if he’s already buried Tommy. He goes to school because he has to, but he doesn't do anything else. He doesn't go to drama club or the rehearsals for the play he’s meant to be in. He stops doing homework, hardly eats or sleeps and he stops talking. He can see that he’s hurting his family, even Neil is worried and little brothers never worry, but he can't stop, he's swallowed up by his grief.

　

He plays the one song that means loss to him. Bohemian Rhapsody. He sits in his room, crying and grieving, sobbing every time he hears the line 'So you think you can love me and leave me to die'.He knows it isn't about the kind of loss he’s going through, but he loves Tommy and Tommy left him. He didn't mean to, but he has, he's gone and all he can feel is the grief. He dreams about Tommy, even though he's no singer he hears Tommy sing Bohemian Rhapsody, not the whole song, just one line over and over, 'Didn't mean to make you cry'. He wakes up from the dream every time with tears on his cheeks and he can never get back to sleep after it. His grief is raw and he’s sick of people telling him it'll get better, easier. He doesn't want it to, losing the love of your life should hurt, he should be grieving. He can't ever imagine loving again. 

　

He knows he must look pathetic, his grief bad enough, easy to see, because Neil doesn't even complain about the fact that he's playing Bohemian Rhapsody on repeat. He listens and he cries and he wishes that he'd told Tommy he loved him before he left that night. He knows Tommy knew, but he wishes he’d said it. They'd spent hours in bed together, he'd deep throated Tommy and he'd felt so close to Tommy when they were touching, but it's not the same, he'd give anything to have the chance to say I love you to Tommy one more time.

　

He plays Bohemian Rhapsody out loud all day and then puts his headphones in at night. He knows he'd probably get away with playing it aloud, his parents know how much he is hurting, but he doesn't want to punish them, it's not their fault he’s breaking. Bohemian rhapsody is the only song he can listen to, every other song makes him think of Tommy and his old beat up guitar that he's been teaching himself how to play. He’s never known grief like this before and it hurts so much he feels like he can't breathe, every breath hurts without Tommy in his life.

　

One day, three weeks after the last time he saw Tommy, he’s in his room, on his back on his bed. Bohemian Rhapsody’s turned up and he’s remembering the last time he was with Tommy here, the way he looked and sounded as Adam had blown him. It's a good memory, all his memories with Tommy are good ones, from the first day they met to the first time he asked to take Tommy fully down his throat, just to see if he could. He's trying to listen to the song and not his head, singing softly to himself when Neil just comes bursting in his room, which is something he hasn't done since Tommy went missing. He's been respecting Adam's grief.

　

"What are you doing?" Adam asks, pushing himself up a little as Neil bounds over to the stereo and presses a button, Bohemian rhapsody being replaced by silence.

　

"It's Tommy, they found him. He's alive!" Neil all but yells and Adam has never gotten off his bed so fast. He's on his feet and hugging the shit out of Neil, in a way he's not sure he has in years.

　

He can feel Neil's face against his neck, a little damp, but he doesn't say anything, his own eyes are wet and he knows that Neil loves Tommy as well. He never thought his little brother would like his boyfriend, but Neil had taken to Tommy right away, in a way that he hadn't warmed to almost everyone in their lives. 

　

"Is he in the hospital?" Adam asks.

　

"Yeah, they say some guy hit him with his car, like hit and run and then he told his brother, who was a doctor. The doctor went back to find him, took him up. He thought if he could patch Tommy up himself, he wouldn't get in trouble," Neil rambles and Adam grabs his hand and drags him out into the driveway. His parents are out, Tommy’s Mom or someone must have told Neil. He's really glad he got a used car for his eighteenth birthday, because it means he and Neil can head straight for the hospital. Tommy's Mom, Dad and big sister Lisa are already at the hospital. They all hug him and Neil and everyone is crying, but for the first time in a long time it's not from grief. The tears are happy tears, relieved tears. 

　

A doctor comes and tells them that Tommy will be fine. He's hurt, was hurt worse, but the doctor had been taking care of him. He has broken bones and bruises, cuts and stitches, but he's alive and he's not going to die. Adam feels like he's been in a cloud of grief and it’s finally been lifted. He feels like he’s alive again. Considering the situation the doctors and nurses let everyone in to see Tommy at once. He's tired and beat up, thin. But he smiles sleepily at them and they all get to hug him. Adam is so sure that if he had never gotten Tommy back that he would have never stopped grieving that loss. 

　

"I love you," Adam whispers right in his ear and he sleeps in the chair beside Tommy's bed that night, no one argues with him, not even the hospital staff.

　

 

+++++++++++++

 

　

They keep Tommy in the hospital for a week and Adam visits every day. He starts eating and sleeping better now that he isn't lost in grief. The cops come a lot too. The hit and run driver and his doctor brother both get arrested. They will do time and Adam is glad. Hitting Tommy with a car was an accident, driving away and trying to cover it over after, that was no accident and for that alone they deserve punishing. It's two weeks more before Tommy's parents agree to let Tommy come over to Adam's for a sleep over. But he's healed a lot and Adam knows he wants to get back on with his life. 

　

Adam wants to plan something romantic, but Tommy just wants to be alone with him. So he orders take out and they head for his room and Adam goes over to the stereo to put it on so his family won't hear anything they shouldn't hear. Bohemian Rhapsody comes on and Adam realizes that he hadn't changed it after having it on repeat for weeks; he knows every word now.

　

"Queen is awesome, I love this song," Tommy smiles.

　

"I played it so many times. It made me think of you. I thought I'd lost you," Adam admits and Tommy walks over to him, hugging him tight and Adam holds on tighter. He loves Tommy so much, he had grieved so much, and he thinks he would have just withered away without Tommy in his life.

　

"I'll learn to play it for you," Tommy offers.

　

"I'd like that," Adam nods, leaning down to press a kiss to Tommy's lips. He doesn't bother to change the song, he just lets Tommy lead him to the bed.

　

"I don't think I can have sex yet, but I want to be with you, it's been so long since you touched me," Tommy says softly.

　

"I love you so much, we can do whatever you want," Adam promises. He almost lost Tommy, he wants to touch him just so that he can prove this is real. He had so many dreams that included Bohemian Rhapsody that this almost feels like a dream, but Tommy wasn't warm or bruised in his dreams, this is real.

　

They end up naked on his bed, Tommy laid back and propped up and Adam knows what he’s going to do. He works his way down Tommy's body, pressing teasing kisses to each patch of skin he reaches, gentle over bruised skin and then Tommy's hand is in his hair and he's moaning loudly. Adam is really glad he put music on, because otherwise his whole family would have heard Tommy, because he’s never quiet in bed.

　

"Please Adam, not so slow, baby, please," Tommy begs and Adam can never say no to Tommy when he begs. It's been a while since he did this and he's only ever done it for Tommy, but he doesn't think it's something you just forget. He starts slow, not to tease Tommy, but because he's not sure he can deep throat right off the bat. 

　

"God, Adam," Tommy gasps.

　

He sucks and licks and tries to take more, till he is once again deep throating Tommy. He loves the feel of Tommy in his mouth, in his throat. It turns him on so he's hard and aching. His handis between his legs, jerking himself off as he sucks on Tommy. They've only ever been with each other, so they don't use condoms and Adam likes the taste of Tommy on his tongue. It makes it more real, it does his aching heart good. After all the grief, he has the joy of having Tommy under him again.

　

He doesn't tease either of them, he wants them to come, to have that closeness. He can hear Tommy moaning and gasping his name and it's something he never thought he would hear again. He never thought he would hear Tommy say his name again, let alone hear it gasped out by Tommy while Adam’s deep throating him. When Tommy comes Adam swallows, his hand going still for a second, but by the time he's licked Tommy clean, he’s spilling over his own hand. 

　

"Wow Adam, fuck, I think you sucked my brains out," Tommy gasps. Adam cleans them both up and then gets back in bed, pulling Tommy under his arm.

　

"I love you so much, I don't know what I would have done if you didn't come back," Adam sighs. He thinks he would have grieved until he died. Maybe his parents would have played Bohemian Rhapsody at his funeral. 

　

"I love you, too. I'm glad I got to come back to you," Tommy says softly, tipping his head up for a kiss and Adam leans down, pressing soft kisses to Tommy's lips. It deepens quickly and Adam thinks he could kiss Tommy forever, if he had the chance. He almost lost Tommy, he won't let himself waste even a second of their time together now. He has a second chance with the love of his life and he knows you only get so many chances at a thing like that, so he plans to make the most of all the time they have.

　

The End.


End file.
